Is Performance Better Than Aesthetics for Self Esteem

I have found that my self esteem is much higher when I am hitting new personal records on the bench press than when I am just looking for a specific body fat percentage. When I focus on what my body can do, I feel powerful and capable. When I focus on how I look, I always find a flaw to obsess over.

I think our culture places too much emphasis on aesthetics and not enough on physical capability. I am much happier as a slightly heavier guy who can deadlift four hundred pounds than I was as a skinny guy with abs. It has been a huge shift in my mindset over the last year.

Do you agree that performance goals are healthier for the mind? Or do you still find that your confidence is tied to your appearance? I am curious to see how different people balance these two aspects of fitness. For me, the strength is what keeps me coming back.